Hidden Feelings
by jyvonne13
Summary: It's 7 years after the end of the 100 years war. Zuko has just announced his engagement to Mai. But deep down, he's hiding his true feelings...for Katara! What happens when Zuko admits that he's in love with Katara? Will his engagement to Mai last? Will Katara decide Zuko is the one she was meant to be with and leave Aang? (RE-UPLOADED!)


A huge crowd was gathered outside of the fire nation palace. Fire nation, earth kingdom, and water tribe people were there. The crowds buzz with excitement anticipating the big announcement that Fire Lord Zuko was about to share with them.

Zuko was inside the door to the balcony of the palace preparing to go out and make his announcement to the crowd down below. He wore fancy fire lord clothing and he could hear the crowd down below. This announcement had been a long time coming.

"That's a hell of a lot of people," Toph said. She couldn't see the crowd, but she could definitely hear all of the people and sense them through her feet.

"Nothing but another day in the life of the fire lord," Sokka pointed out.

"It's not just any other day," Zuko said. Before he could say anything more, Mai entered the room. She wore a long black and red fire nation robe fit for a queen and her silky black hair cascaded down her back as sleek as silk. She looked absolutely stunning. He reached out to her as she got close to him and she put her small hand in his. He held her close in his arms and gave her a loving passionate kiss.

"Eww oogies!" Sokka exclaimed.

Zuko and Mai glared at him.

Katara grabbed her brother's arm. "You're so immature," she said dragging him out of the room and towards the crowd below with Aang and Toph close behind him.

Zuko turned back to Mai and looked into her eyes. "Ready?"

"Of course," she said.

He walked out to the crowd and they all erupted into cheers when they saw their beloved fire lord.

"People of the Fire Nation, I have a very important announcement to make!" he said. "Soon, I will not be ruling the Fire Nation alone. I'd like to introduce to you all you're soon to be Fire Nation queen, Mai."

The cheers erupted again when she walked out to meet him by his side. This is how it would be for the rest of their lives. The two of them, side by side, forever.

*WW*

She walked through the village looking at the various shops lining the streets accompanied by Suki and Toph. Her long hair cascaded down her back in waves. She wore a long skirt and water tribe top along with her mother's betrothal necklace. Her eyes sparkled even from where he watched her at Iroh's tea shop.

She pointed out pretty dresses and jewelry as they walked. They approached a young girl trying to reach up to get a necklace. She reached out and handed it to her like the kind soul she was. He admired her for that. She was smart, she was brave, she was beautiful, and she had the most pure heart of anyone he had ever known.

"KATARA!"

The three girls, and even himself from where he sat, looked up in shock to see the Avatar falling from the sky from at least 20 feet in the air having jumped off the back of his flying bison. He landed in front of her with the effortless grace of an airbender.

"Hi," he said with a wide smile. No matter what, Aang maintained an innocence and optimism that he could only wish he possessed. "I got you something."

"What?" she asked excitedly.

Aang pulled a bouquet of flowers from behind his back and handed them to her. "I got your favorites."

She took the flowers and sniffed them. "I love them!" She wrapped her arms around his neck. "And I love you Aang." The two leaned close to each other for a loving kiss.

The aggravated snap of his chopsticks could be heard across the room.

"Is something bothering you Fire Lord Zuko?" Iroh asked from where he was behind the counter making tea.

"I'm fine," he said through his teeth.

"You know, if there's something, or _someone_ , on your mind, it will never be resolved until you face it head on."

Zuko sighed. "I know uncle."

He looked back outside. The group was continuing on down the street leaving his line of sight. Aang and Katara were hand in hand. He bit his lip in frustration.

Seeing the two of them together like this bothered him. It infuriated him….and it broke his heart.

He could pinpoint exactly when it had started. At Ba Sing Se, it was at least 7 years ago now. She had confided in him about her mother and had offered her spirit water to him. It was the first real conversation they had ever had. It was also the first time he had seen her as more than the avatar's friend. He saw her as a beautiful, strong, young girl.

And then he had betrayed her. Through a series of events they had become friends and he developed a crush on her. He felt like they had a chance, especially after Mai had left him (the first time). But the two of them had never happened.

His feelings for her were something he had tried to suppress for a long time. But no matter how hard he tried, no matter how in love he thought he was with Mai, no matter how far apart their separate paths took them, he still wanted to be with her and as much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't help it.

Now that he was engaged, his feelings for her had lodged into his heart at full force and he couldn't help but wonder how different their lives would be if their paths really had intersected. As he watched her go with her friends and her boyfriend, he wondered if maybe it wasn't too late to do something about those feelings before being separate became irreversible.

"You know in your heart what the right path to take is Fire Lord Zuko," Iroh said. "You just have to take the time to realize it."

It was almost as if his uncle knew what he was struggling with. But that always seemed to be the case and right now was one of those times where, whether he wanted to admit it to himself or not, he needed his uncle's advice.

He stood up from the table. "I've got to go uncle. Thank you for the tea."

*WW*

There was a huge party at the fire nation palace a couple of weeks later. It was just a gathering to bring people together that happened every so often at the palace. There was music, food, and dancing. Zuko and Mai, as the soon to be Fire Nation queen, had the first dance. Now that it was well into the party everyone was having a good time.

Katara and Aang were dancing together. The two glided effortlessly across the dance floor looking at each other with eyes full of adoration. Ever since the first time they danced so many years ago at the fire nation school, dancing was one of their favorite things to do together. At every party the two could be seen in each arms on the dance floor.

Katara wore a long blue dress and bracelets reminiscent of the southern water tribe and her long hair hung in waves down her back framing her face and eyes that sparkled. She was beautiful.

Aang wasn't the only one who thought so. Zuko found himself watching her from his place at the front of the room. He'd always thought she was beautiful, even though now he knew he shouldn't. But the more he watched her, the more he spent time with her, he felt his feelings growing for her.

He was still having such conflicting emotions. He was engaged to Mai. He loved her. He had loved her for a long time. The two of them were compatible and knew each other well.

Yet Katara was smart, strong, lovely, everything he had fantasizes about for a long time. As he sat there and he watched her dance with Aang he thought about the life that lay ahead of him. Maybe he could be happy with Mai, but there would always be that what if in the back of his mind. If he didn't get rid of that what if, he knew it would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Mai elbowed him. "Why are Sokka and Toph having a chocolate chugging contest?" she said pointing across the room with a smirk on her face.

Zuko forced a laugh. "Yeah, crazy." Although he never took his eyes off of Katara who was walking off the dance floor hand in hand with Aang. She sat at the table they had claimed. He gave her a kiss and then went to go get them some drinks.

There were often large parties at the Fire Nation palace just for the sake of bringing the Fire Nation people Zuko had called for this one for a very specific purpose. And maybe it was too elaborate for what he wanted. He could have pulled her aside and talked to her at any time. However, he wasn't the type of person who went for subtlety.

He saw his chance and stood up. "I'll be right back." He made his way across the room over to Katara who looked up when she saw him coming.

"Having fun?" She asked brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

He resisted the urge to say something he shouldn't have. Instead he just said, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," she said. She stood up and glanced over at Aang and gesturing that she would be back.

He led her out the door where the moon sparkled overhead and the cool night air blew through their hair.

"What's up?" Katara asked.

Zuko ran his hands through his hair not knowing how to begin. "I don't know how to say this, especially now. I should have said this a long time ago but things changed...we changed. I thought I had missed the opportunity. But I was just thinking about the future and I can't have this what if in my mind forever…"

Katara raised her eyebrows confused. Where was this going?

He noticed and sighed. "I know I'm rambling."

She put her hand on his shoulder. "Whatever you're trying to say, just tell me."

"I like you," he finally admitted. It felt so weird hearing the words out lot but as soon as he said them he felt a weight lifted off of him. "I've liked you for a long time. Ever since Ba Sing Se...I made a terrible choice that day and hurt you. But after that, when we became friends...I thought we had a chance."

Katara was shocked. For a moment she didn't know what to say. She never would have expected this from Zuko. "I...I don't know what to say."

"I know what I want you to say."

"What about Mai?"

"Mai is a wonderful girl. But I've realized I can't stay with her if I have stronger feelings for you. I've tried to ignore this, I really have. But no matter how much I try to suppress how I feel about you, it's still there and I can't live that way."

Looking into his eyes she could see that he was serious. "But Aang…"

Aang. The one thing that stood in their way. "I know. I guess Aang is the reason why I waited so long to say this to you. I thought it was wrong to come between you. But I figured I had to at least put my feelings to you out there, now or never."

Katara still didn't know what to say. She loved Aang, she loved him with all her heart and soul. But Zuko was one of her best friends, how could she tell him?

"I don't expect you to say anything now," he said finally. "I know I threw a lot at you, I don't expect an answer at this moment. But promise me you'll think about it"

She nodded. "I will think about it."

"Good." He knew there was nothing more he could say now. He had made the situation awkward enough as it was. With that, he went back inside leaving Katara to wonder what she should do.

*WW*

The next day they were hanging out outside. Sokka was making jokes and Toph and Aang were playing games. Just like old times. But Katara was sitting off to the side thinking about what Zuko had told her yesterday.

Suddenly he was coming over to them. Katara couldn't make eye contact with him. She still didn't know what she was going to say.

She had thought long and hard about their conversation. At first she didn't think much of it. But after thinking about it further she couldn't help but think about what things would be like if they were together. Yes she had hated him at first, but they had grown so close over the years. She could even argue that they were closer than her and Toph or Suki. And she would be lying to herself if she didn't say Zuko was attractive. That she could never take away from him, even when she was 14 and he had attacked her village back home.

She had spent a long time thinking to herself what it would be like to be his Fire Nation queen, be by his side forever and be his lover.

"Hey Zuko, wanna play?" Aang asked as he flew around on his air scooter. They were playing a game with completely arbitrary rules that they were making up as they went along.

"Not right now," Zuko said. "I need to talk to Katara."

He looked at her and she stood up to go with him. She stood up nervously not sure how this conversation could possibly go.

The two went for a walk down the stone sidewalk until they came to the river outside of the palace. She remembered him telling her that he and his mother used to spend time there all the time. It was their special place.

"Have you thought about what I said?" He said after a few minutes of silence.

"Yes, I have," she said. She let out a deep breath. "I like you."

He looked at her in surprise. He had played out countless scenarios in his mind of how this could go. This was the one he was least expecting to hear. "Really?"

"Yes," she said looking up to him. "We've been through so much together and we've spent so much time together over the years." She looked back into the lake again not wanting to see the hurt in her friend's eyes when continued. "And maybe...if it were a different world, a different lifetime...then maybe we could."

That hurt. He felt like a knife had been shoved into his heart.

"I love Aang. I always have and I always will. It was always meant to be me and him together."

And that's was another knife.

They locked eyes. In her eyes, blue as the ocean, he saw everything he had ever felt for her. The respect he had for her when she decided not to kill the southern raider general who killed her mother. The adoration he'd had for her when she tearfully healed him after Azula shot him with lightning in his last fight with her. He had been so sure back then. But things had changed. Why did he think it would ever work out now?

Before he could have another thought, she took his face in his hands and gave him a kiss. Her lips were soft and her breath was warm. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He felt warm and he felt happy, happier than he'd ever felt. It was nothing honor or power or even Mai could ever give him.

She broke the kiss too soon and looked away from him. He could see tears in her eyes. "Stay with me," he said holding her hand.

She shook her head and wiped away her tears. "I can't." She wasn't expecting these feeling to come out this way. Why did this have to be so hard? Why did she have to hurt a friend? She looked up at him forcing herself to meet his eyes. "You'll always be my friend, and I'll always like you in some way. But I'm meant to be with Aang...and you're meant to be with Mai."

"Why does fate have to tell us what to do?" he said desperately trying to cling to some kind of hope that they could happen.

"The same reason fate led you to become a more honorable fire lord than Ozai or Sozin could have ever been. And the same reason fate led you to us, to _me_." She squeezed his hand. "You're my best friend and I'll always be grateful to have you in my life."

Her eyes sparkled with sincerity. Her voice broke as she spoke. This was hard for her, for any number of reasons. The analytical part of him wanted to know the reason. "Is this because of Aang?"

"Maybe," she said. She loved Zuko. She loved everything about him from his unending compassion, the best interests of everyone in his heart, his warm hugs, and hazel eyes framed by the scar on his face that told so many stories. In that moment she also pictured Aang's loving smile, his unbounded energy, his lips on hers, his body crushed against her. Nothing compared. Not even Zuko. "Like I said, in another world, in another lifetime...if circumstances were different."

If circumstances were different. She liked him too, however deep in her heart it may have been buried. She would be with him if the circumstances they were placed in were different. If that was what he had to live with he would.

With that, he reached out and gave her a warm embrace.

She hugged him tightly. "All I want is for you to be happy," she said. "Whether that's with Mai or not. Whatever it takes for you to be happy, I want it for you."

"Same for you," he said. The broke their hug but didn't break their gaze. "You're right about fate. You and Aang are right for each other. It would be wrong of me to take that away from you."

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. Not out of curiosity this time or out of a desire to know whether the two of them ever stood a chance. But out of friendship and mutual understanding.

*WW*

Zuko entered the doors of the palace that evening ready for a long night snuggled up with Mai.

The day hadn't gone as he had wanted, but it opened his eyes to a lot of things. Katara may have been right about where fate had landed them. If the circumstances had been different, maybe he would have ended up with her a long time ago. Maybe he would have kissed her the day of his coronation and she'd be engaged to be his wife.

But then maybe other circumstances would have been different for that to have happened. Everything happened for a reason. If that were the case he was fine with where his life had ended up. He had Katara as a friend and knowing the affection she held for him brought him peace. And he still had a beautiful woman in his life who he was proud to call his own and couldn't wait to spend the night with.

He changed into his pajamas and found Mai in their bedroom staring out the window. He hadn't seen her all day and was looking forward to spending time with her. But when he entered the room she didn't turn around.

"I've been looking for you all day. Where have you been?" he said as he went over to her..

"Why do you care?" she said coldly still not turning around.

"Why wouldn't I?" he said confused.

He tried to touch her but she pushed him away. "Oh I don't know, I just assumed since you were so busy making out with Katara today."

Shit.

"You...you saw that?" he said nervously.

"You do realize that this place has windows, right?" she said angrily.

"It wasn't like that Mai," he tried to explain.

"I've seen you staring at her. You've been spending more time with her than me lately. I had my assumptions when you went off with her t the party yesterday but I doubted it. I knew you would never do that. Until I just happened to walk by the window today and see you sitting with her. Not only that, but you kissed her. What else is it supposed to be Zuko?!"

She finally looked at him. When he saw the tears in her eyes, he knew he had messed up badly.

"Mai, I'm sorry…"

"What's really going on Zuko? Do you love her? Is that it? Do you love Katara more than me?"

"Yes….I mean no! No, I don't love Katara more than you. I like Katara, I think she great...but no! No, I don't love her…"

The next thing he knew her hand collided with his face. He touched his burning cheek and looked at her in shock. He had never seen her so angry...and so hurt.

Tears poured down her face as she spoke. "I've sacrificed a lot to be with you Zuko. I put my life on the line to save you. And…and I'm pregnant." She turned away from him and he heard her sniff. He knew she was crying.

He was shocked. "Why...why didn't you tell me?"

"I found out today. Right before I saw you and... _her_." She wiped her eyes as she turned to look at him again. "If you don't love me anymore just say it. Say it to my face."

"I _do_ love you Mai."

"I'm sure you do," she said obviously not believing him. She stormed out of the room.

Zuko sat on the king sized bed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Why did it seem like everything he did ended up going completely wrong?

*WW*

Aang and Katara were practicing waterbending. Both were more or less masters at this point, but practicing together was always fun. Aang found something extremely calming about waterbending. Maybe it was the soft rush of the river, or the gently flowing waves...or maybe it was Katara herself. Either way, he felt at peace when he was waterbending.

Yet he noticed something was out of the ordinary with Katara. Ever since the party she had been awfully quiet. At first he figured she was just tired but it wasn't like Katara so be quiet for so long and he figured it was time to get to the bottom of this.

"What's been bothering you sweetie?" he asked.

"How can you tell something is bothering me?"

"I've known you for 7 years. I think I know when something is bugging you by now."

He was right. She couldn't hide from him forever, she just wasn't sure how he would react. "Promise me you won't be mad."

"Promise," he said, although he was getting worried now.

"Zuko um, told me that he's in love with me."

Aang lost concentration on the water and it fell down around him soaking him from head to toe. "Seriously?"

Katara nodded slowly watching his reaction.

"But he's engaged to Mai and...and what about us? Katara, are you in love with him too? Please tell me you're not. I love you, I can't lose you to Zuko of all people…"

She put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him to silence him seeing that he was becoming increasingly hysterical. "No, sweetie, of course not. I'm not in love with Zuko at all. You're the only man I could ever love."

Aang became visibly relieved. "I knew that."

She smirked. "Sure you did."

"So what did you tell him?"

"I told him that if things had been different then maybe but fate put us all on the path we're on for a reason."

"That's true," he said nodding in agreement. He always knew it was fate that he and Katara had ended up together. She was the light of his whole world. He couldn't imagine any lifetime without her in it.

Suddenly they noticed Zuko coming towards them. He looked very upset. Katara thought they had settled everything yesterday but maybe they hadn't after all.

"Hey, can I talk to you two?" Zuko asked.

They all sat in the grass.

"So what's wrong?" Katara asked.

"How long have you been in love with Katara?" Aang asked.

Katara elbowed him. "Aang!" she scolded.

"A long time," Zuko replied. "Ever since Ba Sing Se."

Aang looked at him in shock. "That's a _long_ time."

"That's not what I wanted to talk to you about," Zuko said. "Mai saw our kiss yesterday."

Now Aang really looked back and forth between them in shock. "You two kissed?!" he exclaimed. He was about ready to bash in Zuko's face.

"It wasn't like that..." Katara tried to explain.

"How the hell was it not like that?!" Aang exclaimed. Balls of fire circled his hands that were clenched into fists. At that moment he was contemplating the right angle to burn Zuko's face off.

"Relax Aang," Zuko said. "I don't want to date Katara anymore. She's all yours."

Aang's hands stopped burning and he calmed down a bit. "Fine," he grumbled.

"Mai is furious at me," Zuko said.

Aang crossed his arms. "She's not the only one."

" _Aang_ ," Katara said.

"That's not the worst part. She's pregnant and I'm worried she thinks I don't love her anymore and she'll leave. She hasn't spoken to me since last night. I don't know what else to do."

"Well when Katara is mad at me I get hr a big bouquet of water lilies," Aang suggested.

"But water lilies don't grow in the Fire Nation and I don't have that kind of time to go out and get some," Zuko pointed out. He was starting to sound more distressed by the second.

"Do you want me to talk to her Zuko?" Katara asked.

"You'd do that?"

"Of course. I'll explain everything. She can't stay mad at you after that."

*WW*

Under Zuko's direction, Katara found Mai sitting out by the river on the palace grounds looking at the ducks. According to Zuko she still wasn't speaking to him but she could tell that behind the scowl on her face she was really hurt and she had been crying.

"Hey," Katara said gently sitting on the ground next to her. "Can we talk?"

Mai wouldn't look at her. "You wanna talk about how my fiance is in love with you?" she said angrily.

"He's not in love with me."

"Then how else would you explain that kiss yesterday?!" Mai exclaimed. Her eyes were practically burning with anger.

"It wasn't supposed to be a romantic kiss," Katara said calmly.

"I've been thinking a lot about me and Zuko's relationship," Mai said. A duck swam past her feet and she rubbed it's back. "It's always been so rocky. He betrayed me once before. It took him the longest time ever to open up to me, his girlfriend of all people. I don't know what I am to him, or what I ever was. I thought this was right but the more I think about it...I don't think it is. So you win. I'm leaving. You can have him." She stood up to leave.

Katara was surprised to hear that from her. He grabbed her hand before she could go. "I don't love Zuko, Mai. We're just friends," Katara said calmly. "We always have been and we always will be."

"Like I believe that," Mai said. She kicked Katara out of the way and threw one of her knives at her.

With her quick reflexes Katara rolled out of the way just in time. She looked into Mai's tearful eyes. They weren't the eyes of anyone vicious. They were the eyes of someone who was hurt beyond belief and just wanted to be loved again.

She raised the water from the river to shield herself from another knife. "You don't want to do this!"

"Maybe I shouldn't," Mai said. She ran towards Katara and jumped in the air. "But I do."

Before Mai could stab Katara, and she surely wouldn't have missed that time, Zuko stepped between them with a barrage of fire. "STOP!" he shouted.

Both Mai and Katara fell backwards and the grass between them sizzled.

Mai looked at Zuko in disbelief and then stood up. "Good bye Zuko," she said turning to leave.

"Mai...!" Katara said wanting to try again to reason with her.

But Zuko knew this was something he was going to have to do on his own. He ran over to Mai and stepped in front of her grabbing her hands to stop her from leaving.

She struggled to break free of his grasp. "Let go!" she exclaimed. "Let go of me Zuko!"

"No!" he said. "I can't let you leave me!" His voice was shaking. "Not again." He thought of their rocky relationship in the past and how he could have lost her so many times. He was not going to let this be that time.

She stopped struggling realizing how upset he was and she was surprised by it.

"What you saw between me and Katara...you're right. I'm a shitty excuse for a man and you don't deserve me as your husband. I've been in love with you for a long time and recently I've been doubting my feelings but...I love you. Only you. And I don't know what I'll do without you if you leave."

It was sinking in for him how much she truly meant to him. When things weren't shaking between them, they were magical. Katara was amazing and he still held a great deal of love and affection for her, but he knew the two of them could never happen. He would be an idiot to give up such a loving and passionate relationship that he had with Mai just for his old fantasies of what could never be.

"I know I haven't always been the best guy ever but I love you," he said putting his forehead on hers and looking into her eyes. "And if you'll still have me I want to spend the rest of my life with you and raise this child with you."

"You...you really mean that Zuko?"

"Yes, I do."

He thought he sense the doubt flicker across his face and he was ready to give up. But then she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him as hard as she could.

*WW*

Wedding bells rang throughout the Fire Nation weeks later as Zuko and Mai were officially married and the Fire Nation gained a new queen.

Katara noticed Zuko standing over by the balcony during the reception and decided to go talk to him. It was like a sense of deja vu. "Congratulations," she said.

"Thanks," he said. "You were right about fate Katara. I made the right choice. I couldn't imagine a better life ahead of me."

"I always knew the two of you were meant for each other from the start," Katara said. "Have you decided what you're going to name the baby?"

"Last night we were talking about naming her Izumi if it's a girl." He was silent for a moment as he thought about it. "Do you think I'll be a good father Katara?"

"You're going to be a wonderful father," she said.

He was grateful to her. He was grateful that she was his friend, for all of the experiences and adventures they had together, for being one of his biggest confidants, and just for being in his life. He still thought she was gorgeous and still held a lot of love for her in his heart but he knew now that they were supposed to be friends and that's how he wanted it to be. He reached out and gave her a hug.

"Ahem."

They looked up and saw Mai coming towards them.

"Hey baby," he said worried she would be mad.

"What are you two doing out here? The party's inside?" she said jokingly.

"I was just telling Zuko that he'd better be a good husband to you or I'll personally come after him," Katara said with a smirk.

"I've got so much protection around here, I love it," Mai said. "You hear that honey," she said taking Zuko's hand. "No funny business."

Zuko smirked. "Ha ha, you two are so funny."

He led the way back into the reception. The rest of the day was filled with dancing and laughing and the promise of a beautiful future.


End file.
